Category: Life

There are a lot of ways to be wealthy, money is just one…

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Why do you want to be rich?

I really don’t want to be rich. Comfortable would be nice though.

What good is money if you never get the chance to spend it? Like most people, I spend more time with my work family than my actual one. Putting my nose to the grind in order to provide a better life for the wife and kids.

Always looking forward to the next weekend, vacation, and paycheck. Spending the majority of my waking hours chasing dollars so I can try to buy back my time later. Trading the best years of my life in hopes of building memories when I can eventually retire. Hoping that I’ll be healthy enough to enjoy it.

That’s me now, but not always…

TV taught my generation that we all need to grow up to be lawyers and doctors. That we all needed big houses and several cars. That we need to be rich to have a full life. Kids today are learning that they need to be rich and famous to matter in the golden age of social media. At least that is the perception.

A change in point of view

After I left the army, I moved back home to Colorado in order to take a job with a local airline. Not making a ton of money, however, plenty of overtime pay filled my pockets.

After spending several years taking orders, I was ready to cut loose and live free as the wind! Make some of my own decisions for a change. Time to chase a passion and turn it into a career. Something I wouldn’t mind working hard doing.

The airline gig was a great job. I was outside loading bags onto planes. Work hard for about forty minutes, and chill out for an hour waiting for the next flight to arrive. It was on one of these lulls, that I shared my plans of moving to the Keys in order to become a SCUBA instructor. All agreed that it sounded great! Living on boats, and soaking up the island life. What could be better?

“Can you make any money doing that?” asked a coworker. I laughed and told them all that I was just going to be broke for the rest of my life.

One of the older guys chimed in and said, “there are a lot of ways to be wealthy, money is just one”.

I had to agree with him. I didn’t care about the money. After all, I was moving across the country to take up a profession I knew would never make me rich in a conventional way. This was in 2003, and people didn’t really talk that way yet. You hear a lot more of that now. Buy memories, not things…

Point of views change when you get older

Of course, I had to find a real job in order to support my family in a normal kind of life. House, car payments, and such… That’s not a bad thing and I enjoy what I do for a living. It still works though.

Keeping up with the Jones’ and wanting material things is something that I’ve struggled with more now that I’m older. Back in my early 20’s, I was seeking nothing but an adventure. Not a care in the world when it came to my checkbook. Now, what item can I get off Amazon will make life easier? What do the neighbors have that I like too? Like I have some imaginary hole that needs to be filled with stuff.

Is it so bad to compare yourself to others? Maybe. I always wonder if what other people’s material things make them happy. Do you really enjoy cleaning that huge house? Is it really worth it spending all that time in traffic away from your family?

I think that a better comparison is measuring where you are now compared to what you had to deal with in the last stage of your life. Everyone moves through stages. High school, early adulthood, marriage, family, professional life… Is life easier or harder now? Where are my struggles? What is standing in the way of happiness?

Life is never going to be perfect, and a fist full of cash isn’t going to change that.

How do you measure success?

High paying job? New car? Big house? Nice things? What about a nice family vacation once a year? How much in my bank account is enough?

You can always make more money, but time passes very by quickly. Especially when you have kids. Maybe someday we can buy more time.

It’s not the end of the world to be poor. I’ve been poor. Wondering where I would find my next dollar while crashing with a friend.  I’ve also been flush with cash, and very lonely because I was working so many hours I didn’t have time for a life. I can’t really say which one was worse… This must be that work-life balance thing people talk about.

My life is much different now, with a wife and kids. Money and stability is a priority.

I try to remind myself of the really important things in life while I’m trading my time for a steady paycheck. Making the time to spend together as a family. Memories that make your heart feel full.

There is no need to be bitter about what you don’t have, or worry about what other people are doing. Be happy with what you have for as long as you have it. Tomorrow is never a guarantee, so choose how you spend your time wisely.

All this is just my experience and opinion. It might be really nice to have a private jet. Pretty sure that I would be just as happy living with my family, in a van, down by the river…

How To Leverage The Internet To Learn Anything!

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You know that you can find anything and everything online. Many people spend their time online shopping or perusing social media. Why not use that time to learn something new?

There is so much more on the web that you can use to help enrich your life!

Learn new things for free

Gone are the days that you needed to pay a great deal in order to learn new skills!

There is a shift in the workplace, where skills may soon outweigh a degree. While there will always be a place for college, these days you can teach yourself just about anything for free, or very little.

Want to learn about something? Google it. Pretty simple, however, given enough time researching you can learn quite a bit.

Want to learn to code? Check out Codecadamy. Need to change the breaks on your car? YouTube. Need ideas for a DIY project? Pinterest.

There are also sites like Udemy that offer free, or very cheap ($10), classes on just about anything you want to learn.

Rather read books? While not free, Amazon’s Kindle Unlimited offers access to a library of books for $9.99 per month.

Not looking for anything in particular? Sign up for a free daily email course through Highbrow. You pick a course and they send a short lesson to you each weekday by email. There are lots of topics to choose from art, business, productivity, travel… You get the picture. They have both free and premium memberships. One of these lessons leads to me starting this blog.

If you are looking for more specific topics, do a Google search for blogs in that space. You would be surprised the level of knowledge that people share for free. Some may even offer courses of their own on those topics. This brings us to the next topic…

Connect with like-minded people

Whether looking for information, or advice on an idea, the online community is a great resource. If you like the way someone looks at things, reach out to them. Collaborate and share! You can sign up for their newsletter, or contact them directly. Social media works the same way too.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”- Jim Rohn

Be careful who you spend your time with. Surround yourself with people that lift you up, and inspire you! Those that help support your goals, and hold you accountable. While there are downright awful people on the internet, there are so many great ones willing to help. You just need to find them.

Final thoughts…

Pick something you always wanted to learn, and go learn it. Anything. If you don’t end up liking it, just move on to something else. Nothing is stopping you, and most likely cost you nothing but time.

Make a commitment to yourself. Begin with small goals to ensure you reach them.

Don’t worry if you spend time on topics that don’t support what you do for a living. Everything learned in personal life will apply to business in some way. You might even start doing something you never thought you wanted to pursue. Like writing…

Leverage the people around you. You would be surprised what your coworkers know, and what they can teach you as well. Interact with people. Network. The more people you connect with, the more opportunities that come your way in the future.

There is so much content out there and ready to be consumed. Be careful not to become overwhelmed!

12 Wonderful Truths For A New Dad

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Everything you need to know about parenting you can find online!

Just kidding! I have been a parent for a little over five years now, so you would think that I’m an expert! You would be wrong. I have looked all over to find tips & tricks to make sure my kids have a great childhood, however, you will see a lot of conflicting advice. One such example is sleep training.

Raising kids is the most wonderfully frustrating thing you can ever choose to do. I did say choose, as anyone can go and make a kid, but you have to make a commitment to become an actual parent. There is no half- ass way to do this stuff.

I am far from the best dad any kid could ever wish for, but I wanted to share some things that I learned over the last five years.

#1. You get to write your own instruction manual…

I don’t care how many books or blogs you read about parenting. Nothing is going to prepare you for how much your life is going to change when that first child comes home! Everyone has their own way of doing things, and will happily tell you what works for them.

You will realize while watching YouTube videos on swaddling at 3 AM that you have to try a few things out to find a solution that works for you. Sure, all these resources will help, but in the end, it is all trial and error. You have to decide what works and what doesn’t. Eventually, you will find your own style.

Don’t worry, you will get to a point where you look at new parents and chuckle. Just as more experienced parents are most likely having a giggle while watching you right now.

#2. The first child experience…

The first kid will get all the cool stuff. All the accessories that you can find at Buy Buy Baby. The snot sucker, binkie whips, awesome diaper bag, etc. Make sure to get refills for the Diaper Genie!

This kid will get all of your attention. They won’t be allowed to eat off the floor, play in the dirt, and everyone gets to wash their hands before they are allowed to touch the baby.

You will worry about this little one constantly. Rush to pick them up every time they fall, and call the doctor about every fever.

#3. You will never sleep again…

Truth. Forget sleeping through the night, at least in the beginning. If you’re lucky you might get to sleep in when the kids a teenager. My son is a rooster and makes sure we know exactly when the sun begins to ever so slightly crest the horizon.

#4. Get ready for all the photo opts…

Your child’s early years will also be very well documented in baby books. You are going to take so many pictures of this kid it is crazy. Make sure you come up with a good way to view them all. My wife will use Shutter Fly to make hardcover books for each year that are truly awesome!

I love that FaceBook shows me memories each day. When I was growing up we never really dug out the photo albums. Having these memories shown to you automatically is great. You will be surprised how fast that kid is going to grow.

#5. You will spend way too much money…

All that cool stuff you got. All those cool accessories. You won’t use them after six months. Pretty sure that we have never used the snot sucker. You will also realize that you have been carting around a ton of stuff that you really don’t need.

You know what the best changing pad on the market is? The floor. Yep, that wiggle worm can’t fall off the floor. Once you have some experience, you can move from the floor to the couch.

Also, it is way easier to clean poop off tile or hardwood than it is carpet. Choose your spot carefully!!!

#6. Your kid is going to get you sick…

So so very sick. Nothing like the entire family ending up in the hospital with the Norovirus because you had a fun day at the Children’s Museum.  Make sure everyone is washing their hands anywhere you encounter several germ buckets in one area. Especially when you visit all those awesome public places full of other peoples sick kids.

#7. The second child experience…

All that crap about washing hands goes out the window with this kid. You won’t think twice about letting this one eat dirt. This one gets to play with that kid at the playground with green snot running down their face. You might even remember that snot sucker you have collecting dust in the medicine cabinet.

You now realize that kids are a lot tougher than they seem. They also heal extremely fast. You are not as worried about the huge goose egg on your kid’s forehead after they face plant on the neighbor’s sidewalk as you were the first kid.

There won’t be as many pictures of this kid. They sometimes get the short end of the memory stick. You will still love them just as much as the first kid, but now realize that you just don’t have as much time to spread between these two super needy creatures.

#8. Forget going out to eat…

Don’t expect to have a nice meal out to eat anywhere that doesn’t have a playground. Even bringing some books and toys will only last the kids so long.

When we first had my son, we bragged about nothing changing and going out to eat all the time. Yea, that lasted about five minutes.

Rushing to take a few bites while your spouse is walking a screaming kid around outside sucks! Taking turns walking the little troublemakers around gets old quick. Better to get take out and embarrass yourself in front of your friends at home on your own turf.

#9. Your house will never be clean again…

You are going to spend so much time cleaning, folding laundry, and doing dishes it becomes a second full-time job. Just accept it. You may want to think twice about getting a huge house. More house = more to clean!!

Watch your step around Lego’s! Stepping on a Lego is it’s own special kind of pain.

#10. Your kid’s pet is really your pet…

Having a pet growing up is great! I had a bunch of pets when I was a kid. Just realize when you decide to get an animal when you have young kids that you get to take care of it.

Maybe if the pet lives long enough you will get to teach them some responsibility.

#11. Kids really are the best thing ever…

You might be thinking that after the first ten things on this list your life is over. Truth is that the first time your kid says your name or grabs your finger with their little hand your’s hooked.

aditya romansa - www.unsplash.com
aditya romance – www.unsplash.com

There is nothing like being a parent. Life is full of so many ups, downs, and sideways. Kids do make these swings more significant in good and bad ways.

Your goals will shift. Your dreams will be centered around the little ones for the time being, but don’t forget to keep the long game in mind. Eventually, these kids will move out.

#12. Your partner in crime…

Don’t take your significant other for granted. It is really easy to fall into a routine of work, kids, clean, sleep. Remember your partner that’s tagging along on this journey with you. Maintaining that bond and connection is extremely important! When the kids have moved on to their own lives it will just be the two of you. Make sure there is still a “Us” at the end of the day.

If you are a single parent, I tip mine had to you! I couldn’t do this on my own, and can only imagine how strong you must be. Same goes for Step and Adoptive parents. It takes a special person to come in and raise another person’s child.

All that said, you will never know another love like that of your kids! Whether they are your own or adopted, these kids will force you to be a better person. You just have to do your best not to fuck them up too bad.

Choosing the mountains over the sea

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Searching for the right spot…

I tend to wander between the mountains and the sea…

I was fortunate to grow up in Colorado which has amazing mountains. Now after living in Florida for several years, I’m realizing just how much I took my home state for granted. I have always been looking for another place over the horizon.

Most of my youth was spent outside climbing trees and camping. I started to get into hiking and climbing towards the end of high school, however, I felt this force pulling me to the coast.

My family and I took a vacation to San Francisco that completely changed life as I knew it.

One day we took a walk around some docks full of fancy yachts. At the end was this very run down green steel two-masted sailboat. At first, it was funny to see this mess of a boat sitting between all these very expensive watercraft, but after a few minutes, I fell in love with it. I could see the work the owner was doing, and where they were starting to make progress in fixing up this old boat. At that moment I was taken by sailboats forever.

changyu hu - Unsplash.com
chengyu hu – Unsplash.com

I could see this sailboat taking me on grand adventures to places I could only dream about. Why buy a house and be stuck in one place when I could live on a boat any place I wanted…

At that moment I think I became a wanderer. More consumed by the journey rather than any destination.
As soon as we got back to Colorado I started to take sailing lessons. I was able to find a Red Cross class that taught basic sailing classes. I learned to sail in a little Sunfish on a large lake not too far from the house. A far cry from that grand ship that inspired all this.

The class was great, and not too long after finishing I bought my first boat. My friends and I would take that boat to the lakes high in the Rockies several times over the following years.

And then I changed my mind…

Anyone that has been around me long enough knows that I change direction frequently, and quickly.

After I finished high school I had decided to move to Orlando to learn to work on boats. I had lost all interest in going up to the mountains and camping. All my focus was on getting to a nice sunny spot, on a boat of course. I secured my spot in school and even started to look at apartments.

After everything was in place I decided on a whim to just join the Army instead. With all this focus on boats and the sea, you would think that I would have chosen the Navy. I did go to them first, however, at the time, they were not guaranteeing what job you would end up with. Knowing my luck I would end up doing laundry, so jumping out of planes and blowing shit up sounded much better. Joining the Army was one of the best decisions I have ever made. The reasons behind that deserve their own post.

The next chapter…

Fast forward three years and I found myself working at Denver International Airport in one of the worst snow storms I can remember. After I got out of the Army I decided to go back home and enjoy the great outdoors Colorado had to offer. I started to get my hiking gear together and even joined a climbing gym.

Sitting in the break room that very cold evening, I found a SCUBA diving magazine. In the back, there was an add for “Paychecks in Paradise”. Having spent the last three years being cold, I thought it would be nice to get a little slice of paradise!

A month later I was learning to dive in the FL Keys. I finished dive school and jumped on a sailboat and headed to the Bahamas. After a few months I found myself in Seattle, but six months later I was back in Florida.

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rosin hormones – Unsplash.com

The nice thing about being a SCUBA instructor is that you can generally find work. You don’t make much money, but it did allow me to move frequently. I was really enjoying the warm salt water and sunshine, but then a familiar feeling came back.

The thing with being back in Florida was that I miss the mountains. There are plenty of places to go camping and hiking, but it isn’t the same. Florida is very flat… and also very hot. If you plan to do anything outside in the summer, it is best to make sure that it involves water. My wife and I spent a couple nights camping in the summer in Ocala and it was not very fun.

Finding a happy medium in the land of no mountains…

The bad thing about moving between such extremes is that balance is hard to find. While heading out to the beach here is easy, finding a nice hill to climb is more difficult. It’s not easy to find the time to make an eight-hour drive to the nearest mountain range while working a full-time job. Not much fun spending more time in the car than on the trail.

My goal is to take at least one major hiking trip a year. In 2016 I went on an amazing hike in Washington that challenged me in ways I have never been before. Trips like that makeup for not being able to run out for a quick trip over the weekend.

sebastian pichler - unsplash.com
sebastian Pichler – unsplash.com

I will always find myself daydreaming of the exact opposite of the environment I am in. I know that about myself now. As much as I long to be out in the middle of the woods, I can still see myself on a sailboat heading to some distant island.

I think happiness has a lot to do with finding a little bit of peace where you’re at, while always looking towards that next adventure…